I have thought a lot, a lot about Nelson Rodrigues, the first and perhaps most important of my masters. The absence of retirement, the illnesses, the censures, the tragedies… all of this molding a conception of the world. The sad and thoughtful look at the corrupted nature of man. The unbelievable succession of misfortunes, the aging process accompanied by continuous breakups, the courage to walk towards death. And yet, the good humor, the immortal irony, and the ability to see light where there seems to be none.
Category: Notes
Months of Inertia
Three months without composing a single, solitary verse. My mind boiling like never before. As an excuse, the other jobs and the stupid imperative of necessity. On more than one occasion, the feeling of a near explosion, the call of the mind to record in art the powerful and terrible judgment, the cry in verse form. And, alas, the silence, the rational inaction to let the impulse slow down. Indeed, it does slow down—and fate has another chance. In vain, however, for it will surely return…
Day and Night…
In thoughts, the ultimate and extreme movement not executed in life. And the consequences, all of them afflicting and pulsating as soon as the head rests and the eyes close. The need to annihilate, never forgetting a single word, carrying out all the violent impulses controlled by the rational manifesting itself, every night, while silence reigns outside. In life, in art, the effort to slow them down, the effort to mask their monstrous character, the effort for the predominance of conscience. And so the mind submerges into double life.
It Is Not Possible to Detach From Surroundings
It is true: it is not possible to detach from surroundings, to be a ghost, completely alien to time. The environment, like it or not, is an important component. However, there is a daily and useful exercise that consists of distancing oneself, or in other words, to be silent. To turn eyes inward and, as far as possible, ignore surroundings. Choose isolation, deny active participation, accept and adapt. Seek, if possible, to close ears, blocking out external influence. And thus, allow that only the inextinguishable part, or, let’s make a concession, the essential part, remains of the environment.