Tag: behavior

It is a pity that man does not possess a self-preservation instinct that would encourage him to cut out his own tongue before it degenerates irreparably into slander. There are cases in which, if such an instinct existed, the biography would be quite different. One must think very carefully before giving in to this terrible impulse, which is all the more blinding the more just it seems. In general, one slanders those one knows best, and the best way to know someone is to form a close intimacy, which very rarely occurs without some degree of kindness and mutual cordiality—for which one ought to be grateful. One soon sees where all this leads: there is no more despicable trait than ingratitude.

It is understandable the agitation and the nonconformity of someone who feels completely ignored, undervalued, or wronged. But here’s the thing: it is almost always futile, and he who acts as his own advocate or propagandist rarely makes a good impression. He does not overcome such injustice, and may even reinforce it by earning a reputation for vanity. That is a dish one must chew in silence, without complaining about the excess salt. One must swallow it without getting upset, like someone who accepts fate, and take comfort in that calm acceptance. Because, after all, the world has never been a reliable judge, and one should not seek any kind of guidance from it.

The greatest difficulty young people face is dealing with the need to make certain irrevocable choices before they have enough life experience to fully embrace those choices as their own. This amounts to saying that they hesitate, or simply do not want to assume their identity before it has fully taken shape. There is, therefore, a realistic, justifiable instinct that does not want to take a wrong step. However, the demands of the world do not recognize this and force them to take action. It is pointless to reproach them, and resistance is ineffective: the moment always comes when a decision must be made, and the consequences of decisions must be faced. If there is no consolation, one need only think of how much worse one’s fate might be without such a push.

The memory of those who can mentally reconstruct their childhood—recalling memorable moments and various events with details that would naturally be overlooked—is enviable. And even more enviable is the memory of those who, in addition to what they already recall effortlessly, can bring back just as much more by making an effort. For this is not a universal faculty. And for those who lack it, even worse than a void is uncertainty—that is, the vague recollection that something happened, but without any way to verify it. In other words: the guy has the impression of having said, thought, or experienced something, but cannot reconstruct it; he cannot even recall exactly what he said, thought, or experienced. Hence, another thought may immediately follow: if he did indeed say, think, or experience what he believes he did, then the connection between that distant event and the present would be real; and this connection, beyond being unimaginable and extraordinary, could not only endow destiny with beauty and meaning, but also affirm a fundamental reality. However, memory cannot confirm it: the astonishing coincidence, therefore, cannot assume a value greater than that of mere possibility. A waste that is extremely hard to swallow!