Convictions

Convictions never cease to amaze me. I mean: I have been studying, studying and studying for a long time, and I still cannot formulate a single certainty. In all that I think I always find exceptions… Nothing, I have never found anything absolute and irrefutable, even though I look like an obsessive sicked. Then come to me, on all sides, resolutions on life, convinced answers to the most complicated questions, which most escape any kind of reason, irrefutable definitions about what goes beyond all limits… all this wrapped in amazing simplicity. I cannot help but notice that every conviction statement carries a presumption that is unbearable to me. That is why I definitely do not identify with anyone who thinks have “answers” of any kind. To me, reflection only proves the impossibility of obtaining them definitively. I do not disregard, perhaps, my own lack of capacity… But I find the phenomena more interesting if not summarized in half a dozen sentences.

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Judging: Unbearable Act!

Nothing is more unbearable to me than judging! As I have long since realized that I cannot stop doing so — albeit impersonally — I have learned to cultivate silence. Silence that, to appear outwardly patience and serenity, implies an endless inner war. I hate judgment, and yet I judge all the time. I annihilate myself when I find me condemning conducts, and I condemn all, especially mine.How I would like to hang these terrible outbursts of judgment! But there is no end, nor peace, and I consider myself victorious mantaining a minimal aspect that refers to humanity.

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Cure for Aging

I enthusiastically follow the scientific novelties about the cure for cell degeneration. I dream of the day when it will be possible to buy a pill — or a chewing gum, perhaps… — able to prevent aging, keeping the body healthy and at the peak of form forever; thus, only a fatality could take the life of a human being. Well, I dream of this day to use the volition I have left and say: this needle will never stick me! I belong to a generation that fades into life and disintegrates chewed by worms!

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Mandatory Way

Nihilism is the mandatory way out for those who perceive the overwhelming vacuum of meaning in a world where the unique authorities, science and the state, will never be able to fill it. I lie: there is art; but this, in fact, is uncertain and impenetrable route.

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