Happiness can only be the purpose of life in futile natures. First, because of its impossibility; second, for its smallness.What harm does it do to accept life in full? It is a vigorous attitude to greet the bad times, and more: to value them as formers of meaning.
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According to Pascal, man is corrupted to such an extent that even knowledge is not immune from forgery. If we take such a statement seriously, it will be necessary that we adopt a humble stance towards everything: we will have to doubt each of our words and be extremely cautious about anything that appears to us as “conviction”. We will treat ourselves with a certain contempt, and self-esteem will be an impossible word. We will be likely to avoid contact and our independence, if it manifests itself, will do so in a measured manner. In short, we will be exactly the opposite of the men of this century.
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Convictions never cease to amaze me. I mean: I have been studying, studying and studying for a long time, and I still cannot formulate a single certainty. In all that I think I always find exceptions… Nothing, I have never found anything absolute and irrefutable, even though I look like an obsessive sicked. Then come to me, on all sides, resolutions on life, convinced answers to the most complicated questions, which most escape any kind of reason, irrefutable definitions about what goes beyond all limits… all this wrapped in amazing simplicity. I cannot help but notice that every conviction statement carries a presumption that is unbearable to me. That is why I definitely do not identify with anyone who thinks have “answers” of any kind. To me, reflection only proves the impossibility of obtaining them definitively. I do not disregard, perhaps, my own lack of capacity… But I find the phenomena more interesting if not summarized in half a dozen sentences.
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Nothing is more unbearable to me than judging! As I have long since realized that I cannot stop doing so — albeit impersonally — I have learned to cultivate silence. Silence that, to appear outwardly patience and serenity, implies an endless inner war. I hate judgment, and yet I judge all the time. I annihilate myself when I find me condemning conducts, and I condemn all, especially mine.How I would like to hang these terrible outbursts of judgment! But there is no end, nor peace, and I consider myself victorious mantaining a minimal aspect that refers to humanity.
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