The feeling of being able to write endless pages, only transcribing the permanent psychological war and its endless chapters. Ruthless conflict, continuous affliction, tranquility that rarely comes… Words of the master opportunely recalled: “All my life I have spoken silently and lived in myself entire tragedies without uttering a word.”
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Complications of someone of rare dreams, when they exist, disconnected, vague, abstract, which have always been summed up in mute images, and now frequently come across assaults of infinite variations of misfortune. Wins the study of psychology. It is interesting to note how the rational loses strength as sleep deepens and, in a state of semiconsciousness, presents itself in vigor. Morality, too, is dependent on judgment, or in other words, on rational psychological manifestation. There is also a very clear distinction between the action of unconscious impulses on different levels of sleep. When induced in a state of semiconsciousness, the dream is endowed with a drastically more real character. Oh, dull lines!…
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Whenever I am faced with mass aggression against an individual I notice, in the first instance, the inequality of combat. The time of duels is gone; the notion that honor, even if demeaned, demands loyal combat is gone. The crowd is essentially cowardly for taking advantage of numerical oppression. I can see that, even if the individual has done something reprehensible, I will never be able to roar at the sight of his head rolling. I always and compulsorily reject the disgusting roar of the crowd. I will never stand beside the impersonalized mob, the sum of cowards hiding under the mask of a “common cause” to assault.
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The man capable of seeing the uniqueness of his existence will never be able to join any kind of organized group, except for interest. The circumstances that have formed his character and shaped his personality, mistakes, failures, regrets… all of this together make any sense of collective belonging impossible. To join a group is to simplify the complexity of one’s own experience, dishonoring it, diminishing the value of the lessons one has learned by force, being unworthy of one’s own resistance.
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