Life seems to have a mechanics which, at least for he who does not lie to himself in the depths of his conscience, repeatedly shuts down his pride and reveals his smallness. And if this seems to be a constant, the reactions vary drastically: some grow stronger, more aware and humbler, sprinkling their will with a salutary modesty; others, unfortunately, fall into an invincible, destructive and paralyzing disgust. This is perhaps why St. Augustine says that pride is the root of all weaknesses, because pride, if it does not give in to the reality imposed by life, in itself only produces destruction.
A True Vocation Solidifies More Easily When…
A true vocation solidifies more easily when it does not have a favorable environment. When there are no incentives or, otherwise, when one loses out in exercising it, everything becomes much clearer, and a kind of strength springs from the realization that it is necessary to assume oneself and shameful to deny what one is. Those who carry on without a teacher, a friend, a social or professional environment to encourage them, without a push or even a favorable opinion, wake up one day and realize that they have developed a rock-solid will. And then they have to be very thankful for the circumstances that ultimately favored them.
In the Midst of Endless Human Misery…
In the midst of endless human misery, there is always an uplifting example; we just have to look for it. And we should always do so, when study leads to the necessary immersion in the former, to prevent it from completely clouding our vision. Reliving old admirations, remembering the noble and sincere things we have seen, all this comforts and motivates, all this shows how much richer it is to strive for the good. And if the circumstance dismays us, if existence suddenly seems to darken, we must at least cling to the awareness of this conviction.
The Shock I Suffered After First Reading…
The shock I suffered after first reading Crime and Punishment, probably the most decisive of my entire life, was largely due to the realization that what Dostoevsky did in Crime and Punishment was unlike anything I had ever witnessed, both in and out of literature, and to the realization of the immense nobility of this attempt. Doing something like that, I concluded, justifies and dignifies an existence. And what Dostoevsky and some other authors do is so different that today, more than a decade on from that first impression, I realize that time has done nothing but reinforce it. A book like Crime and Punishment will never emerge from the pen of someone who simply wants to tell a story. That is why it is so natural for me to read Joseph Frank’s lines revealing that, after a dramatic combination of circumstances, Dostoevsky wrote to his brother saying that, from that moment on, the aim of his life would be to study the meaning of life and man. Without this conscious resolution, he would never have been able to come close to what he did.