When I think of the sannyasis of India, I realize that I have, of course, renounced nothing, that I lead a life of pleasure and comfort, and that I have faced nothing but minor obstacles in pursuing my calling. If, however, I compare my circumstances with what I have become, if I reflect on the natural path I rejected, on an adult life that has amounted to successive defections, to ever-increasing isolation, to small deprivations that have piled up, to the continuous abandonment of what I was and much of what I was destined to become, I see that it was no small matter. Surely, I would have no trouble convincing an ordinary citizen of my madness. And perhaps I will end up, like Lima Barreto, attending a mental institution. But it is certain that, just as Lima Barreto could not, I could not have done anything different from what I did.